I guess I went overboard again with my playfulness. Well, I admit I am playful, but in relationship, I am dead serious. Yet, all I want is to make my girlfriend happy with my playful and hyperactive, but I think it backfired or I really did something wrong which I myself don't know.
Well, boys will always feel deeply hurt when the girl he loves the most ignores him. But, good thing about boys is they will never give up on the girl he loves the most, even if he needs to live through a lifetime of torture to get her to forgive him. Hey, there is no exception for me also.
I may not be good when comes to sweet talking or make you feel happy and smile instantly everyday. But, I am doing my best to do so. I may not understand you fully right now, but I willing to take time to understand you more. In a relationship, both sides have to understand each other one right ?
When I am able to be at your side, I will hug and kiss you to clear all the depressing emotions and bad memories that we have and of cause, I going to insert as many nice memories as I can with whatever I can like go dating with you, surprise you or just plain hugging and kissing you.
It actually rips me apart. It hurts when we don't talk or you ignore me. Especially at night, when I am alone, the pain starts to grow within my thinking, is like a million times deeper then the surface feels. All the questions that I keep wandering starts to pop out in my head and I always have no freaking idea on what actually happening or what did I do wrong.
My heart actually hurts alot, but I gonna hold on to it because I know you will come back to me. So, I don't mind going into the sea of suffering myself, keep every single sadness to myself and show the world that I am alright, no worries with my smile that covers everything. But what is worst is, during night I have to bear the pain myself and then the next morning, wake up and start to think about you, worry about you yet no reply or anything back from you or ignore by you, and go through the same phrase again until my poor heart break down.
But then, no worries, hey I am ok here XDD Life goes on, I will take a nap and next morning everything will be ok already ^^ because I believe that after a Windy storm, there will be a beautiful Rainbow awaits us afterwards.
anyway, Rain, no matter what happen, I Still Love You ^^